Feeling Blue...

You know those days when you feel like doing nothing more than just lying in your bed. Today's that day for me! I'm feeling blue. I just finished my exams yesterday so I should be ready to get the party started but I'm just not in the mood. There is nothing to do, I'm so bored. All I want is my boyfriend with me with his arms around me and whispering sweet words in my ear. Only he can make me feel better today. The reality is that I have to wait for 69 more days until I can be close to him. so unfair!

Long distance love

My boyfriend and I are in love, but we're on different continents. My baby lives on an island far way, a place so beautiful with the most amazing people. I won't deny it's hard because it is, it's so hard. Knowing what I do right now, I wouldn't do it again. But my baby is so amazing, I'd do anything for him. He is my soul, my heart, the air I breathe. I miss him so much but there is nothing I can do. All I can do is wait for June to come, I'll see him June 29th. 86 more painful days and nights, wishing he was by my side.

I miss him the most when I go to bed because when I'm with him, he opens his arms and says come here baby, let's start dreaming. Now I have to sleep without him, without hearing his voice and feeling his body against mine. I miss everything about him, especially the way he looks at me and smiles. I want to be with him because he is my home and without him I feel lost

What happened this summer...

Well, summer's over and I feel very sad about it. I had a great summer, probably the best summer I'll ever have. First of all i went on holiday with boyfriend dearest. And let me tell you it was absolute HELL. He didn't bother to clean his mess up, he constandly needed attention from me ( Hey it was my vacation too!!), he was being annoying about money and to make things worse he didn't bother to flush the toilet. All i did was wait for the 7 days to be over and i did survive! A few weeks after i got back home I went on vacation again but this time with my family. I went to a carribean island and lemme just tell you that i had the best holiday ever. When i was there it finally hit me that my relationship had to be ended. He just wasn't making me happy and it had been 3 months. 3 long months with doubts ever day but all of the sudden i realised that i was over him. So i did what i had to do and i ended the relationship. I don't regret that, i feel a lot happier now. So yeah it was a hard summer because i had to make a difficult decision and i broke up with my boyfriend who i had been dating for the past 18 months, but it was also a great summer because i grew a lot as a person. And i finally know what i want to do with my life.

Happy Birthday To Me!

It's my birthday today, my 21st. The day didn't start very good for me though, I spilled coffee on my shirt so I had to change and I was almost late for my German oral exam. My exam was alright, better than expected! Now I'm trying to study for my French exam, which is on Friday.
You might be wondering what boyfriend dearest bought for me, his loving girlfriend.... Well nothing. Isn't that sweet?!? He was like yeah I didn't have a lot of time with exams and stuff,so I'll buy you something next week. GREAT!

So I'm going to celebrate my birthday this evening by watching a good movie in my bed and eating a lot of junk food. That's always good. Just wanted to give a shout out to "Anonymous", thx for the comments. That was really nice !

Summer

It's June. i like June, i have my birthday in June and it's the month when summer starts. And yeah i love summer, i'm a beach girl. I'm looking forward to this summer, it's gonna be a great one. well i hope it will be. I'm going on holiday, not once but 3 times. Twice to the carribean and once to i don't know where. My friend and i are planning a last minute somewhere in august or september. It's gonna be great, 2 girls in a foreign country with a beautiful beach and some great clubs. All that's left for me is some exams and then i'll be off. I just gotta get through these next 3 weeks. It's not gonna be easy but 5th July i'm off to my fav. place on earth. yeah the carribean....

Freaky me...

Hmm I saw my cousin a few days ago, it had been almost 2 years since i last saw him. And well oh my god he was looking good. I'm not in love with my cousin, that would be freaky, even for me haha. But he changed and damn he's fine. If he wasn't related, yeah maybe... But he still is and i do still have a boyfriend, not that that would matter but you know...

My Boyfriend really does suck !

Yes he does. Lately he has done more bad than good. He just keeps getting on my nerves. Tuesday a friend made a dumb joke about my boyfriend's mom and he called me a stupid bitch because I was laughing. I didn't talk to him until Wednesday night but later that night I found out he was text messaging his ex in the middle of the night. I found out because he accidentally sent the message to me in stead of to his ex. STUPID ! If you're gonna do something do it right baby haha. The message was pretty harmless but still, I don't want him to be doing that and especially not at night. She asked him out by the way and he said no. But he sent more than one message. He just bugs me and I like it when we fight. I've been thinking about breaking up with him, it would be really difficult if we did. I don't know ...

Second Thoughts

All of a sudden i'm having second thoughts about my life. I'm in a good relationship, my boyfriend is really sweet, he loves me and he treats me good. But for some reason it's not enough anymore. All of a sudden I don't know if i wanna have a serious relationship at this point in my life. I'm only 20 years old, i really thought i wanted a serious relationship but now i'm not so sure anymore. Before i met him, i had all these dreams. I wanted to live alone and move to a big and exciting city or work in a foreign country. Travel without knowing where i'll be the next day. Right now i can already see what my life is gonna be. In a few years my boyfriend and i will move in together, we'll get married and we'll probably have children, i'll have a boring job and then i'll retire.

I used to think it was enough, i was looking forward to getting married. I don't anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me, i just can't help the way i feel. I don't wanna lose my boyfriend but at the same time i don't know if i wanna stay with him. Maybe it's just a phase, i don't know. I just wish i knew what to do...